Hey everybody, welcome to the Cindy Donaldson Show. I'm your host, Cindy Donaldson. I'm a certified high-performance coach, serial entrepreneur, and bucket list enthusiast, on a mission to ensure that everyone in my circle learns how to not only create but live their life by design. So, welcome to my RV. For those of you who don't know me, I live full-time in my RV, traveling with my partner, Dave. We are currently in Arizona with thunderstorms around us, so I'm hoping this goes well.
Anyway, today I want to dive into a little bit about a new coaching program that I have coming up in May. And I'm calling it the Courage Formula Charged, and it's really the next 2.0 version of my original Courage Formula, which is based on Brendon Burchard's foundations formula. Charged is all about finding a charged life. People usually fall into three buckets: they either feel caged, they feel comfortable, or they feel charged. There's a misconception that once you get into one, you're there forever, and that you're only in one when in fact, people tend to kind of live in all three areas. But there is one area that they're dominant in. For instance, I feel that I live a very charged life. I do my best to take opportunities to move outside my comfort zone, to try new things, to really push the limits.
There's a fine line, though. There are people that are adrenaline junkies, you know? And this was me for a while, like I didn't know how to just be in the moment. And so, I was always looking for the next thing. So we're going to talk a little bit about that later. But sometimes I find myself in the comfortable zone, and that's really where you just get comfortable, right? You're not unhappy, but you are kind of afraid to do something different. You're, you're like I said, you're very comfortable where you are right now. And then there's the cage section of all of this. And when you feel caged, you know it. When you feel comfortable, sometimes you don't recognize it. When you feel charged, you definitely know it. But when you feel caged, you are in that feeling of hopelessness, you have very limited beliefs, you don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, and we've all been there at one point in our lives.
Even the most charged people will find moments or days where they feel caged, like the world is sort of crumbling around them. They have low self-esteem, their confidence is really shot, and it's a tough place to be. So during my program, over 12 weeks, we're going to identify what areas of your life you feel caged, comfortable, or charged in, or maybe you are living very much so in one area or another. A lot of people I coach fall into the comfort zone. You know, they are, I work a lot with people who are in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and even 70s, people that have been in a career, have been a mom or a dad for a very long time, and they feel like they're on the hamster wheel. Like they're, like I said, they're not unhappy with their life, but they feel like there's something else out there. Yet they have no idea how to even get outside the comfort zone. They feel guilty spending time, money, energy on themselves when they've, they're so used to just pouring into their career, pouring into their family.
And so, again, you know, working on that hole, allowing yourself to be happy, allowing yourself to take time for yourself, it's very hard, especially if you've been a parent and somebody from my generation, the baby boomers who were taught like, you get a job, you go to work, you throw everything into it, you work up the corporate ladder. That, of course, is not me. I am unemployable. Not to say that I haven't worked for the man several times in my life. And sometimes I found it really enjoyable. Until it wasn't, until I wasn't really challenged anymore. Like I said, I'm a serial entrepreneur. This is where I live and where I thrive.
So what happens, what happens when you are in one of these places? Like how do you move beyond it? Well, the first part is really self-awareness. So if you feel caged, either in a relationship or in a job, or just within yourself and you can't seem to get out of your own head, sometimes you need therapy, like if there's past trauma that is around that. And again, I've been there. The point in my life where I felt really caged is when I was in a very toxic relationship, not Dave, with my ex-husband. I was financially in a really bad spot, emotionally in a bad spot. Like I didn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. And I'm very grateful for a therapist to help me realize that I didn't need to be caged, that the decision was mine to either stay in that situation or move, and of course, you know, I've moved way beyond that. And that's been 20 something years ago.
But the self-awareness part is really critical. You have to get to a point in your life where you don't want to be in that cage situation anymore. And again, once you get through therapy and you have dealt with trauma in some cases, people don't have any trauma. It really is, you know, they might be in a relationship that's not abusive, but they're just not happy and they either feel guilty or they don't feel they're worthy of being in a relationship that serves them. Or I see this so much with jobs. You know, you're in a career, you've been there for 20 years, and you're like oh, and the thought of Mondays just makes you cringe and you feel so closed in, like Sunday nights come and you get the anxiety Monday you're dreading it and then it's the hamster wheel. And this isn't the comfort zone. The comfort zone is going to a job that you don't hate. It doesn't really give you a lot of passion but you hate it, you like the people you work with. You're good at your job. When you're in a cage situation in a job, it is a job that sucks the life out of your soul.
And most people that are in that situation don't leave the job for several reasons. One, they don't feel they're qualified for anything else, two, they're afraid that they aren't trainable to go do something else, like they're not smart enough to go back to school or three, they don't feel like if they apply because they've been at a job for so long and they haven't been in an interview and they don't have a resume.
If they're in that job, and they don't feel like they can, you know, they've been out of the job market for 20, sometimes 30 years, and they say, I don't know how to do a resume. I don't know how to interview - things are so different now- it's just different!, I don't think I have the emotional stamina to go through that. Or they feel that they're too old to go find another job, They may have a pension that they can't pull from yet or they don't think that they're going to make enough money if they go for another job. The scenarios in their brain go down this really negative rabbit hole.
What I do when I work with them is make them realize that they are worthy and that they're never going to know if they'll get another job If they don't step at least outside that comfort zone a little bit and go on some interviews.
I coached somebody through this and told them to just go apply for 10 jobs and go on an interview. You have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain, even if none of those jobs are a fit. You are gonna get outside your comfort zone, you will feel accomplished. It is a process to get out of the caged place. Again, trauma's different, go to therapy first, but if you aren't in a trauma situation, this is you just realizing that you are worthy and you can do something else with your life and you don't have to remain in that cage spot.
Next is that comfort zone. You aren't necessarily unhappy, but you aren't inspired. And again, I get a lot of people in my coaching programs, do a lot of one-on-one coaching with people like this. Their lives are pretty good, and they feel guilty having any negative thoughts about it.
The scenarios are I should be grateful that I have a family that loves me. I should be grateful that I've got a six-figure job and that I have a roof over my head and food in my belly. And yes, you should be, but that doesn't mean that you have to stay in a situation that you're not growing in.
So many people in this comfort zone have a lot of vacation time built up that they've never taken. Some of them have never even thought of a wish list or a bucket list. It's always like, well, I'll wait until I retire and then I'll figure that out. Some people in that comfort zone truly just feel that this is what they're supposed to do. Again, I see a lot from my generation, the baby boomers, you're supposed to this, to get married you're supposed to take care of your kids,go to work your job until you're 67.5 or whatever it is, and then you retire and then you think about life. You don't enjoy your life in the middle of it. You just do what you're supposed to do and be a good little girl or boy and forge on!
So people in that comfort zone feel this internal struggle that goes back to a lot of guilt. They feel guilty thinking that they should be doing something else. They feel guilty that they deserve something else. Right? And I'm here to debunk that, you should enjoy every moment of your life all the time. Now it's a little Pollyanna because there are bad things that happen and everybody has a bad day. But for the most part, this is it.
My mentor told me in my session last week, but Cindy, (I'm 61 years old, and he s 59), If we're lucky we have 20 more summers to go to be wild kids and travel and do all that stuff. By the time you're in your 80s the travel slows down for most people. Now if you've been with me a hot minute, you know that I am on a mission to be a wild and wooly 100 And I want to be hiking mountains when I am on my 100th birthday. I want to have my backpack on and my hiking boots on, and I just still want to be going! I told my daughter that, and she's like, that's depressing. Like no, it's not depressing, that is motivating.
So that's the speech that I will give people in that comfort zone. I say - what are you waiting for? Tomorrow is no guarantee. You may never get to retirement and I'm not saying that to be negative. I'm telling you that to inspire you to take control of your life and start doing those things that you really want to do. Because when are you going to do it? If you really are unhappy in your current situation yet you're in that comfortable zone so you don't hate your job but you don't love it. You have to make a decision. Say you are three years away from retirement age, pension age, whatever. You can surely stick out the three years I'm not saying that you should, quit your job and do what I do! Sell your house and go live in an RV. I'm not saying that. But if you decide to stay in that job, you have to flip the switch in your brain. You can't have negative Sundays.Gloomy Monday s - . You know, make my coffee make my lunch go to the office smile when you show up in meetings like this meeting is going to suck?
Then you become that toxic, negative person at work. And in your life. You're making yourself sick and miserable. So if you decide to not shift, and again, we're talking about jobs, but the same thing goes for relationships. If you decide to stay, then you need to tell yourself that this is a decision you've made and you're gonna find the sunshine because otherwise you're going to end up down the downward spiral and at some point you may go down even further back into the caged situation where now you're like, you have to dig out even further.
If you want to grow you've got to inch outside the comfort zone.
So if you find yourself sort of yearning for something else, but you're afraid, and again, a lot of people I coach struggle with fear. I hear..
Well what if I fail? So what if you fail? Who cares? Like seriously, who cares?
Well, what if someone judges me? Who cares? Other people don't define your life and they shouldn't define your happiness?
Well, what if I go get another job and I don't like it as much as the one I have, well then you tried and you go get another job.
Now let's talk about charged because that's what my whole program is about. And it is really a space that I try to live in.
Again, it s is not a 24/7 thing. No one can live at that level. Like I said before, I used to have a real problem where I couldn't just slow down and be in the moment. Dave and I travel a lot. I remember being in Rome, and Florence and walking around the markets and buying some boots and stuff and my brain was already like Okay, check. I did that now what s next! Like what do we have to do next instead of just soaking it all in?
I have gone through years of therapy and coaching and mentoring to really work on this. That's my big thing: n just be in the moment. My ADD is kind of the kryptonite thing. You know, it's a superpower of mine that I can think and do a lot of different things. But it also has my brain constantly going - so for me to just slow down and take it all in is a process.
The Charged, part when you're in that zone, and you should strive to be in that zone because that's when you feel most vibrant, you feel most alive. You are taking chances you are living life to the fullest. You have created and lived your life by design, which is y what I'm on a mission to help everybody do. There is always a Ying and Yang to it, right?
And so if you find yourself just go go go go go and you're not slowing down to smell the proverbial roses and enjoy the sights in Rome or Paris or in your backyard. Then that's a sign I Being constantly charged is like being a a firework, it's bright and it's brilliant, but eventually, that flame fizzles out and it falls to the ground.
You have to manage your energy, you have to learn when you are in that charge space. You have to learn to recuperate. Take a day off. I remember last week we were camping and I was it was a Friday and I had really caught up on all my work.
I didn't have anything really pressure pending so I was sitting in the hammock and I was antsy. I wanted to do something but my brain thought it was just too much for me to think of what to do! I was going back and forth in my brain.
I just wanted to lay this hammock but I was feeling guilty. I was feeling guilty just sitting there because I said oh on a Friday I wanted to paint I'm going to clean up the RV. I'm going to organize some stuff I'm gonna go hiking and I just couldn't find the energy to do it.
And finally, I said, Cindy, you're just tired. Just lay in the hammock. You know, I was at that point where I was the firework and it was Go Go, go, go go. And now that spark was kind of dying out and I needed to rejuvenate.
Then we spent the whole weekend hiking. On Monday, I worked for 16 hours. I got a ton of work done. And it really did rejuvenate me. So if you are that charged person really watch that because go go go all the time, eventually you will burn out and you'll Crash and Crash big time.
So that is my message for the day.
Where are you, are you caged? Are you comfortable? Or are you charged?
If you are stuck why? What is exhausting you What is making you unhappy?
Identity it, reflect on it. Seriously, do yourself a favor and fix it like I did in the hammock that day. Don't feel guilty about spending time on yourself.
Don't feel guilty about self-care.
And don't feel guilty about living your life the way that you want to live your life because we all deserve that.
To learn more about my coaching programs. You can go to my website www.cindy-donaldson.com.
And if you want to peruse around my website, there's tons of links to sign up for my emails that go out every Monday and Thursday. And you can grab a spot on my calendar, I love to meet new people, and I offer a free strategy call. So if you're considering coaching but you're not sure if one on one coaching is right for you, whether my high performance group coaching is whether it's the foundation's course that I offer three times a year or this new charged one. Or maybe you want to kind of a DIY - I have a subscription course program called The Insider's club. So you can go there it's $9 a month you kind of get the best of me. And every month we choose a new topic. So if you're watching this in real time in March, we are diving into how to unleash your creativity and your inner innovator. Because there's a misconception that only artists and musicians and writers are creative when in fact, we all have a creative part. We just need to learn how to unleash it and so that's what I'm unboxing in the Insiders club.
So go have an amazing day and stay charged. Bye!
